After a long, busy day, it’s easy to turn to food for comfort and pleasure. Especially if the only thing you have to look forward to is food. If you struggle with overeating in the evenings, and are looking for a solution to stop the late night bingeing, consider incorporating an evening self-care routine to help you wind down and have something to look forward to, other than food.
A self-care routine to help stop the late night bingeing
Late night bingeing and stress eating is one of the biggest struggles I hear from the women I work with.
They’re “good” all day and then it all seems to go downhill after dinner. I’ve been there. I tried SO hard to be good and conscious of what I was eating during the day and then all hell would break loose at night.
Why? Because I was so busy trying to control my weight on restrictive diets.
I was hungry.
I was bored.
Consequently, hungry and bored, means I would turn to my trusty friend – food.
Food was my guilty pleasure. It’s so embarrassing to admit that now, but I was just so hyper-focussed on controlling my weight.
And of course over time, this became incredibly stressful.
One thing I noticed that helped me to curb my late night bingeing and offer me comfort and pleasure in other ways other than food, was having a nighttime self-care routine.
How to build your evening routine:
1. Self Observation Daily self-observation is a good way to support your body and mind. An example of this is journaling. You could simply make a gratitude list, or write about the feelings you’re experiencing or avoiding. Journaling is an excellent tool to self-reflect.
2. Restorative Activities Self-care is about identifying your own needs and taking action to meet them. This means taking the time to do activities that nourish and revitalise you from the inside out. Self-care is about taking proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you would treat others.
Here are some examples of activities that may nourish and revitalise you, that you can incorporate into your evening routine:
Your evening routine should be individualised, so do what feels good for YOU.
Taking proper care of yourself in this way can reduce your need to stress eat and help address the underlying reasons for the overeating.
If you’re experiencing stress on a regular basis and you’re having difficulty relaxing your body, cortisol could be creating these cravings, as well as contributing to other health issues. Creating this evening routine and a simple stress management plan can help you to reduce cortisol levels, feel more grounded, less stressed and of course, stop late night bingeing.
Ironically, many of my clients have no trouble keeping commitments with others. What all these people have in common is their commitment to other people at the expense of adequate self-care. They always put others first!
And no, this is not selfish.
Try to think of dedicating time for self-care like oxygen. These are things which energise and breathe life into you so you can take care of those around you.
Are you feeling trapped in a vicious cycle with food, weight, and dieting, and you’re NOT seeing the results you want? Book in a call here and I will provide you with a step-by-step plan to get you in control with food again.
Before I dive right into Intuitive Movement, I’ll give you a little more background on my story. As most of you already know, healing from my eating disorder has lead me to intuitive eating (instead of restrictive dieting) and a whole new approach to living in general.
A big part of having an eating disorder such as Bulimia, was the crazy amounts of exercise I would do on a daily bases. My relationship with exercise was not at all healthy. My journey with intuitive living began when my unhealthy obsession with food and exercise became a serious eating disorder, coupled with depression and anxiety and if I kept going, potentially a heart attack or organ failure.
After 15 years of constantly thinking about food and spending every ounce of energy I had left to weigh less, I couldn’t do it anymore. My teeth were decaying, my hair was falling out, my skin was always breaking out, my nails were brittle, my joints hurt, I was always cold and I had constant headaches and stomach pain, – I was f@%king miserable! Can you tell…
What is Intuitive Movement?
First of all I think it’s important and healthy to let go of the word exercise and instead re-frame it as “movement”. You do not need to run a marathon to get the same amazing benefits you can get from doing a Zumba or yoga class for example.
That’s not to say you can’t ever go for a run or do a pump class. There just needs to be a balance between full on push and pull, and soothing gentle movement. Constant punishing exercise is not healthy for anyone, let alone someone who may be experiencing concerns with food and body.
So, Intuitive movement is exactly how it sounds. Its taking the same ideas of intuitive eating and making them fit exercise. Intuitive movement means participating in movement that feels good to you.
It means taking a break when your body needs a break. It means forgiving of yourself when things don’t go as planned and you don’t get to move your body that day. It’s putting your mental health first.
How did I start Intuitive Movement?
I found what my body enjoys to do. I like walking, swimming, dancing and riding my bike. I don’t have a certain millage I need to walk or ride. I CHOOSEto do it because I know moving my body is good for both my body and my mind.
It’s no longer solely about burning calories. I love being able to listen to my body, see what it needs, see how its feeling and make that decision as I go. I encourage you to do this too.
Intuitive movement allows you to slow down, and be more aware of the ebb and flow of your body and life
Where should you start?
1. Think about how you enjoy moving your body. How do you feel before, during and after? Write things down, start a journal to collect your thoughts about movement.
2. Why are you moving your body? If your only reason for doing it is to look a certain way, then you may want to re-evaluate.
3. Moving your body is something you do for YOU! Not anyone else. Someone could tell you that a certain exercise or movement is the best thing in the world, but if you hate every second of it and you quit after a week, is that form of movement the right fit for you?
Life is about so much more than looking a certain way and weighing a certain number. Moving your body even incidentally, is something we can do for our bodies to ensure we are functioning at our very best every day. Don’t make it another form of torture for yourself. Doing something is always better than doing nothing.
You could:
– go tenpin bowling
– play table tennis
– play a backyard game of basketball
– walk the dog
– swim at the beach
– dance class
– help a friend move house
Just make sure you listen to your body, don’t force it and most of all, enjoy it! Your body and mind will thank you.
Emotional eating. Stress eating. Call it what you will. They are pretty much the same thing. Because of the emotional connections we have with food, it is so much more than just fuel for our bodies. We celebrate, mourn, and medicate with food. And it’s the self-medicating with food part that we need to sit up and pay attention to.
Everyone emotionally eats to a degree. The difference being some people will eat one Mars Bar and be satisfied, where many others will eat a whole family size block of chocolate, plus some. Sound familiar? Emotional/stress eating is a bit paradoxical, in that the answer is simple: find out what’s stressing you and work on it stopping the stress. However, doing the work is not necessarily easy. But my friend this is where the healing takes place. Why? It means if you want to stop or reduce emotionally eating, you have to pull your sleeves up and dig deep. Go within and get to the heart of WHY you’re reaching for food to cope. Because 99% of the time – IT IS NEVER ABOUT FOOD…
But in saying that, we are human right? We have a heart, therefore we are emotional beings. Complex, unpredictable, and feelings-filled creatures. We love, laugh, cry, hate, break down and rise up. Sometimes all withing the one day! So, how could we NOT be emotional eaters? We love food. We love our favourite restaurants. We love to celebrate with food. We love how food can makes us feel good. Some of us love cooking for others as a profession. Some of us are passionate about studying nutrition.
We also strive for an impossible, unattainable goal (an unrealistic weight or to look like we did when we were 18) that constantly leaves us hungry, frustrated and a failure. Dieting and overeating make fabulous bedfellows. Yes, this thing called “emotional eating” can be extremely painful and menacing, but it’s not the actual problem – it’s a symptom that’s pointing to something deeper. It’s an alert mechanism from our body calling us to check in, and follow the flow of emotions within us to see where our heart is calling for more awareness, curiosity and insight.
This list is by no means exhaustive. There are many other wonderful strategies that can help you stop turning to food as a way to cope when you get stressed. You can stop self-medicating with food and break free of the habit with practice and patience. Here’s 5 strategies you might like to try:
1. Slow down.
The first step toward reducing emotional eating is stopping yourself from turning to food the very second you feel stressed. You first need to stop and slow down. Give yourself a moment to analyse what’s going on and what your are feeling. Then honestly ask yourself – is eating this food going to be the answer to my stress? It’s likely it’s not. It will definitely give you a short term release from the negative feelings, but it’s not going to solve your problems. Analyse your feelings, try to label them and write them down in a journal so you can understand what’s behind them and the action you’ve become accustomed to taking when you feel them. Pay close attention to the external triggers that influence your desire for food.
2. Give yourself Vitamin P – Pleasure.
As humans we’re genetically programmed to seek pleasure. Pleasure makes life worth living. Buy yourself flowers, wear comfortable clothes, take bubble baths, listen to your old favourite music, laugh with friends, travel, take an art class…do what you LOVE to do. Give your body other ways to experience feeling good, aside from food. However, if you do find yourself elbow deep in a binge, allow yourself to fully enjoy it without guilt. Sit down and savour every single bite. Many times emotional eating is just our body’s attempt at experiencing pleasure if we are lacking pleasure from our lives. Make pleasure a priority in your life. Pleasure is the secret antidote.
3. Don’t desert yourself.
Emotional eating provides a temporary release from discomfort, and it provides a short term sense of pleasure and satisfaction when you’re feeling something you don’t want to feel. Overeating has a numbing effect on our unwanted feelings, and takes our attention away from them. The key to ending this pattern is not to desert yourself when your emotions go off-center, but instead invite them in and allow yourself to feel your feelings; instead of eating them. By listening to your emotions, you’ll discover what you’re truly hunger for in and out of the kitchen.
4. Know your triggers.
Learn your triggers and get a strategy in place for when they pop up. If you know you eat when you’re lonely, plan to call a friend or invite a friend over for dinner. If you know you eat when you are stressed, get outside and go for a walk. Always carry food such as raw nuts/seeds, dark chocolate, tinned tuna and fresh fruit with you, so you never feel deprived. Emotional eating can be your body’s reaction to feeling deprived. Especially if you are on a strict calorie reduced diet. Stock your fridge, cupboards and freezer with delicious, healthy foods, and pack your calendar with exciting things to do. Self-care is an important element in ensuring you are better able to handle stress. Set aside me-time for self-care on a weekly basis, and watch your stress levels and emotional eating subside.
5. Eat a substitute food.
All this, “end your stress and you will never emotionally eat again” can be a little hard to swallow (pardon the pun). I can tell you from personal experience that the “just say no” strategy rarely works in the beginning. So if you are craving something sweet instead of inhaling a block of Cadbury’s chocolate, can you instead buy good quality dark chocolate or make your own with a good quality chocolate protein powder and coconut oil? If it’s something savoury you crave instead of a big bag of chips, can you have popcorn instead? Pizza? – Toasted cheese sandwich? Hot chips? – Homemade sweet potato wedges? Soft drink? – Kombucha? White bread – Sourdough? Cake? – 2 ingredient pancakes?…You get the message. Sometimes swap it, don’t stop it is a good strategy.
Whatever you choose to do, if you work toward solving the root cause behind your emotional need to eat, the cravings will begin to subside. My clients often blame themselves for giving in to food cravings, beating themselves up for not having enough willpower. But it has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with finding ways to cope with the emotions that lead you to food in the first place.
I hope that was helpful. Are you a reformed emotional eater? Got any tips you would like to share? I’d love to know!
After you’ve had a big binge on food, you’re going to feel physically uncomfortable: bloated, very full, gassy, or heavy. You may have a headache, have a sugar high or feel sleepy. Beyond how your body feels, you will probably also be filled with uncomfortable emotions, such as: shame, frustration, hopelessness, regret, or anger.
In this post I will share with you how I cared for my physical body, as well as my head (mental health) after I used to binge. I’ll also share some thoughts on how you can prevent binging next time, and how you can overcome your binging for good with a little help with someone who has walked in your shoes.
Supporting your physical body after a binge:
Eat regular meals. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but fasting or skipping meals after a binge will only destabilise your blood sugar, which can easily lead to another binge and feelings of guilt.
When you’re hungry again, eat. If you binged at night, start fresh by giving yourself a healthy breakfast. Stick to whole foods and drink lots of water. Vegetable based meals often feel good after a binge.
Starving yourself after a binge can be a subtle form of punishment. By contrast, feeding yourself when you’re hungry again is a tangible way of saying, “I forgive myself. I don’t have to suffer because I made a mistake.”
Give your digestive system gentle support.To help your body detox from lots of food, fat, salt or sugar, try having a cup of mint tea to soothe your digestion. Eating probiotic rich foods – kombucha, fermented vegetables, yogurt, kefir – can also help settle and support your digestion.
Offer yourself regular, rhythmic self-care. After a binge you may have intense food cravings for a few days. Your body may feel out of whack as it tries to digest and assimilate the excess food.
What helped me to move through the discomfort of intense cravings and the urge to binge, was basic structure and routine in my day; or what I call “grounding”. Grounding helps you feel in control, capable, and strong. Everyone likes routine. Routine can take over when you feel tired, overwhelmed, or crazy around food. You can ground yourself with regular meals, a daily routine, sleep, and gentle movement.
Ways to support your head (mental health) after a binge:
Give yourself compassion and forgiveness. Beating yourself up doesn’t facilitate change. When you’re caught in blame and shame, your brain moves to defend you. The consequence is that you’re not free to adapt and grow: you’re not able to learn from your mistakes. Compassion on the other hand, moves your brain into a space of safety, freeing you to learn and grow.
Move the emotions through your body. A binge brings up strong emotions. A walk is a great way to move the painful regret, frustration and disappointment after a binge. A good cry can also move strong emotions. Other ways to move the emotions: writing, exercise, gentle yoga, stretching, deep breathing, rocking in a rocking chair or swing, meditation and dancing.
Get support. You may find yourself hiding after a binge, feeling caught in shame. There’s tremendous vulnerability in sharing ourselves so intimately with another. But in reaching out, there’s also a big payoff: connection instead of isolation.
Possible ways to stop binging:
Seek to understand. One of the most powerful ways you can cultivate self-forgiveness is to re-frame why you binge. Many people see bingeing as a problem of poor will power, lack of self-discipline, or a character flaw. When they binge, they then see themselves as someone with poor will power, selfishness, or low character. No wonder that point of view causes so much shame and pain.
I offer a different perspective: You’re not bingeing on purpose. You’re bingeing to meet a need. Binge eating is an emotional coping strategy driven by deep, unmet needs. On this emotional level, your bingeing makes absolute sense, as messy or illogical as the overeating may appear on the surface.
Be mindful of the outcome. If binge eating is only bringing you pain and suffering in your life, then it is not working. When you’re able to truly feel and know that the binge eating isn’t working at meeting your needs and it is not serving you, you’re able to change your habits with food.
Have you successfully left binge eating behind you? Share your tips with ending binge eating.
Kelly x
P.S For more support I am now offering Breakthrough Sessions. This is a great way to get your feet wet if you are curious about working with me one-on-one. This is a one time VIP private consultation that will last 45 minutes.
This is dedicated to individuals who need support and guidance around one particular issue that may be popping up.
Breakthrough sessions include:
45 minute consultation via Skype or phone (Australia only by phone sorry)
Breakthrough worksheet with strategies, action steps and journal questions.
We all hold beliefs about food and eating that are deeply embedded in the psyche that we neither recognise or question. Even when they are invisible to you, believe it or not, these beliefs may be driving your eating decisions.
These innermost beliefs have developed from messages you were given directly or indirectly, from family, friends, the media, etc. Sometimes they are cultural norms so it never occurs to you to question them.
Mindful eating is a good way to become more conscious of what you are eating. It teaches us to pause and become curious about our physical sensations, thoughts, and feelings, giving us a way to become conscious about our underlying beliefs.
Do you recognise any of the below examples driving unwanted eating behaviours?
– There’s starving kids in Africa – I shouldn’t waste food.
– It’s rude to refuse food.
– I always eat dessert after dinner.
– Food is a reward that I must earn.
How Do You Keep These Unconscious Beliefs From Taking Over?
Next time you don’t like how an episode of eating turns out, pause to ask yourself if there was a subconscious belief influencing your eating decision.
Be aware of your beliefs. Journal them if that helps.
Feel your feelings/old stored negative emotions by doing emotional processing work (blog on emotional processing coming soon).
Tell your unwanted beliefs to bugger off! Trust that you’re in charge of what and when you eat, and that your body knows best.
Simple is rarely easy. Rewiring the brain of unwanted and limiting beliefs around food and eating may be hard work in the beginning… but it will be worth it.
I always talk to my clients about feelings and stress. If we’re not talking about feelings and stress, then we’re not talking about the full human experience. It’s not always simply about food. It’s also about your why!
When we’re stressed, self-care is often the first thing to go. Why is this?
We go into the sympathetic nervous system dominance of fight-or-flight mode and our perspective narrows. We don’t see we have options – options for coping with stress and making ourselves feel better.
We may not have a “go to” list of self-care activities. When we’re dealing with stress, we remember that, “ I need to take care of myself in this situation.” And, you need a variety of activities to try, if one doesn’t work, you can switch to the other.
Fortunately, there are several pathways to self-care, and none of them need be difficult, take a lot of planning or need to be expensive.
SENSORY
Snuggle under a cozy blanket
Take a hot shower or a warm bath
Cuddle with a pet
Stare up at the sky
Listen to music
PLEASURE
Be a tourist in your own city
Make art
Journal
Go for a photo walk
MENTAL/MASTERY
Take action (one small step) on something you’ve been avoiding
Read something on a topic you wouldn’t normally
Try a new activity
Drive to a new place
SPIRITUAL
Meditate
Do a random act of kindness
Spend time in nature
Journal what you’re grateful for
EMOTIONAL
Write your feelings down
Laugh and cry
Talk to someone about your feelings
Practice self-compassion
PHYSICAL
Read inspiring quotes
Go for a gentle walk
Dance
Stretch
Take a nap
SOCIAL
Speak to a friend on the phone
Catch up with family or friends
Join a Meetup group
Join a book club
These can all lead to a calm mind and that’s the best self-care strategy I know!
